on the bank of Lake Ontario

the soft steady pull of the lake
calling me in
calling me back
mothers warn me not to go
the papers block me
there's harm in the water
they say

i hold the urge to jump
deep within
i block the door
section off a place I can not go
yet the shadow does not fade
I will not touch it
but I can see it, I can feel it

the poison is a part of me
a part I wish to cleanse
become pure and safe again
so I can be with you
once more
with no separation to cross